


In an another world...

by TheBlackWitch



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Disaster Tommy Shelby, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, M/M, No Incest, Period-Typical Homophobia, Season/Series 01, impossible love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28903617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlackWitch/pseuds/TheBlackWitch
Summary: Where the night at the church turns out a little different.
Relationships: Freddie Thorne/Ada Shelby (Background), Grace Burgess & Tommy Shelby, Tommy Shelby/Freddie Thorne
Kudos: 4





	1. The church.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic I post on this platform so don't hesitate to tell me what you think about it! Love y'all!  
> Also please I'm French not English so if you see any mistake, don't hesitate to tell me I had no one to check it :)

-I can't do it. 

The silence took place in the church. Their eyes stayed connected and Grace could see the excuse in Tommy's eyes. She held her breath a few seconds and then, she asked, hesitantly, the question that had been burning her lips for now several months.

-Is it because of Freddie Thorne ?

She could see the shock and the anger on the face of her new boss, and deep down, she was really scared of his reaction. But she buried it and kept a questioning face. Tommy looked around them too fast to be see as natural, but he didn't care. Nobody could hear it.

-What are you insinuating ?

The tone of his voice was threatening but also, if you listened enough, a little afraid. And Grace knew how to listen. And that's why she didn't take back what she said, even under the threat of the Peaky Blinders's leader. She knew that, somehow, she was right.

-I watched you. I saw the way sometimes, your eyes go down a little to long on some men's bodies. The way you always look at women in front of you, never undressing anyone like the other men do. And you respect women, in your own way maybe, but like no one I ever knew. I saw the look in your eyes when your family talk to you about you finding a wife. The distress. First, I didn't pay it attention. Then you started talking about him, Freddie Thorne. Your sister's husband. Even when you were supposed to hate him, he always seemed to be the only one who could bring a smile on your face. And I see the way you look at him, the way you look at your sister. Your look is full of jealousy. You are hiding it but my father, my father taught me to spot the feelings behind the masks. You could hide it to everyone but me.

Grace knew she had speak too much. She should have shut her mouth when she had the occasion. But Tommy didn't respond. He knew which fights to pick and witch fights to leave, and right now, he had understood that he couldn't deny it to her. She was too smart for her own good.

-You seem to watch me the most of your time then. What do you want ? 

-What ?

-What do you want to stay quiet ?

-You won't kill me ?

-Why, do you want me to kill you ?

-No no no ! Of course not ! I just... I mean...

-Then tell me what you want ! 

-Nothing ! I want nothing !

-I won't let you talk. he said, pointing a finger a her. 

-God help me Tommy ! I don't plan on telling anyone !

-Why ?!

-Because I understand you more than you could think !

During their argument, they had stood up. They stayed like that a few seconds until Grace sits down, quickly followed by Tommy. She let the silence settle down before she speaks again. 

-I... When I was a teen, I met this girl, Modesty. She was the most beautiful of all the girls in our village and all the boys wanted to date her but, she never showed them any sort of interest. That's when she noticed me. I was the only other girl who wasn't always talking about boys all the time. Or even never in our case. We quickly became friends and before we even knew it, we... We fell in love. Simply. We were happy. We had to hide but we were happy. We stayed together almost two years without anyone suspecting a thing. But eventually, we were discovered. Our family learnt it fast and we never had the chance to see each other again.

She paused a few seconds before resuming.

-See now, I'm not telling you that so you'll pity me. I want you to trust me and I hope that's enough for you.

Her voice was shaking and tears made their apparition in her eyes. Even if this story was old, even if now she has plenty of other things to be sad about, it still hurt. Tommy knew that. He understood. He stayed quiet before he decided to confide.

-My family knows too.

-How?

-Same story. A boy I had met, Credence. We were... We were kissing when my father took us by surprise. He beat me right were he found us, in a deserted alley. Credence tried to help me but his mother took him away. I guess they weren't together just by luck. Back at home, Pol took care of me. I know she was trying to act like she didn't care but I saw it in her eyes. She didn't understand. My brothers were disgusted, and Ada... Well I don't know what she thought. We never talked about it after this day, and even if my father was even harder with me than before, we all tried to forget about it. I even tried to convince myself that I wasn't a... I wasn't like that. But now that you discovered the truth... I must admit for once I don't know what to do.

-Does Freddie know?

-I guess Ada told him. I can remember that he had a strange look in the eyes the next few days. But he never talked about it.

-You should ask him.

-Ask him what?

-If he knows.

-And now what good on Earth could it possibly do?

He had this mocking air that could annoy anybody, but Grace knew better how to respond. 

-I think it'd make you feel better.

-He already hates me, why would I want to find him more reasons?

-But what if he understands?

-What if he doesn't? I don't see what you could loose at it.

It silenced Tommy. He had other arguments but he knew Grace too. The truth was that he was afraid. If he was being honest with himself, the possibility of rejection was scaring the shit out of him.

-You never tried to find her?

The blond woman knew he was trying to change the subject. But she could understand. So she decided to play his game.

-Not really. I still think about her sometimes, especially when I see a redhead girl with long hair among the people. But I never heard of her after that.

-I'm sorry.

-Don't be. We had our time. We didn't waste it. 

The silence came back in the church. There were no words left to say. Finally, Tommy stood up and made his way to the door. Just before he crossed it, he stopped.

-Our deal stay the same. I'll see you tomorrow.

-Good night Tommy. 

-Good night Grace.

And he stepped out.


	2. Polly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy needs to talk to Freddie. He only knows one person that can help him with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is the next chapter! This one is a bit short sorry. Hope you'll like it! Love y'all.

Once outside, Tommy didn't take the way of his home. No, instead, he went to find his aunt. Only her could know where Freddie Thorne was and he needed to talk to him. He knew he shouldn't but his discussion with Grace had had him thinking and now, he couldn't get the question out of his head. "Had he known? Back when we were teens, had he known?" And he knew he was late, and Pol had no reason to trust him when he'll tell her he just wants to talk, nothing more. That he isn't trying to trap him. But it was worth a try. 

He entered the house as quietly as possible and luckily for him, he found Polly sitting in the kitchen, a tea in her hands.

-I wasn't expecting you anytime soon.

He stayed silent on his way to her, knowing she wasn't waiting for an answer.

-Pol, I need to ask you a favor.

-How strange it is coming from you.

-Pol...

She didn't know why he was like that but she knew that whatever it was, it was eating him. And she didn't like seeing him like that. She only wanted him to be okay again. So she didn't argue. She listened.

-I need to talk to Freddie.

-Are you never going to just bloody let Ada live her life without you trying to separate them?!

She was mad and Tommy could understand her. She tought it was about Ada, again. If only she knew how far from the truth she was.

-Polly I swear it has nothing to do with her. Hell it doesn't even have something to do with him being a communist!

-Then why the bloody hell would you want to see him?!

-You'll have to trust me on this because I can't tell you.

-But how can I? Before I would have without hesitation, but now, I don't know what to expect from you anymore. You changed so much... All of this because of this fucking war.

-Please Polly, I need to talk to him. Nothing else, just talk. Not even a threat. I promise.

Polly studied him, her face showing her hesitation. She seemed to be looking for something in his eyes. Something that would help her to make a choice. She didn't find anything. The spark of truth he had before was gone with the war.

-Fine. I'll get someone to tell him to meet you.

-Yes please. Tell him to join me at the stables.

After he finished speaking, he went back to the front door with the intention to go directly at the point of their rendezvous.

-Tommy ?

He stopped and turned to his aunt, waiting for her to talk.

-You promise me nothing will happen ? 

And he knew why she didn't say "nothing bad" just "nothing". She never forgot.

-I promise. 

And heading back to the door, he added hesitantly :

-Thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! Once again, don't hesitate to tell me I you saw any mistake what what did you think about it.


	3. Freddie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Polly kept her promess and Freddie receives a note telling him where to find Tommy. He doesn't know if it's a good idea tough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is the last chapter. I hope you're still here and if yes, then thank you and I hope you enjoyed it. Love y'all and good reading!

Tommy was waiting by the stables for twenty minutes now. In the cold and the wind. And he wasn't even sure Freddie would come. But the hope was all he had for now. The hope and the fear.

In another place of the city, Freddie Thorne had just been woken up by a knock on his front door. After checking to be sure that Ada was still asleep, he got up and went to the door in his night clothes. The surprise had to been written on his face because the young boy standing in front of him felt the need to tell home that it was coming from Polly. Freddie gave him a coin he had on him and didn't have the time to thank him that he was already gone. He closed the door behind him and opened the piece of paper that had just been given to him.

I'm sorry if I'm waking you up by sending you this letter but Tommy asked me to transfer you his demand to meet you at the stable. I know how it sounds, and that's why I asked him in return to swear me it wasn't a trap or something else at least as bad. He promised. And if it's still not enough for you, I wanted you to know that he seemed concerned, but not about you and Ada. About something personal. I might have an idea what was worrying him but he'll have to tell you himself. And you know how he is. If you're not sure about it, take a time to think. If you decide to go, he'll still be here.  
Sincerely,  
Polly.

He paused. He didn't know what to do. His guts were telling him that Tommy didn't lie and really just wanted to talk. He didn't know about what tough.  
The thing was, he wanted to go. But he didn't know if he should. It was Tommy. He decided to stay home a little longer, just to be sure it was really important for the man he saved as much as Polly told him. He waited half a hour more and then went out.  
Once he was at the stables, he saw him. Hidden in his long black coat. Freddie was pretty sure he was shivering from the cold, but he was still here. And somehow, it wramed his heart.

-Hello Tommy. 

-Hello Freddie. 

The silent came back between them and Freddie took this silent time to observe Tommy in a better way than he had done in a long while. He was shorter than him, not of a lot but it had always made him laugh. His pretty blue eyes were still hidden by his long lashes and his freckles were still making him cute, even with the few years he took since the last time he had taken the time to look at him like that. Wich meant a long time ago. The only difference was that now, Freddie was married. He shouldn't be thinking about him like this. Especially not about his wife's big brother. The leader of the gang the Peaky Blinders. But he couldn't stop. 

-What did you want to talk to me about? 

-Hmm. 

He was hesitant. That's wasn't a feeling he normally expressed. Especially not in front of his ennemies. Because that's what they were now. Ennemies. Bond by the memories and the family, but still ennemis.

-Come on Tommy. You don't usually take that time to respond. 

-I talked to Grace. 

-And in what does it concern me? 

-We talked about a few things. Shared our pasts. 

-So?

-Please stop. Let me talk. 

-Okay. 

-So we talked about our pasts. And at the end, she kind of pushed me to go talk to you. Since we also talked about the present time. But first, she reminded me of a question I had when we were only teens. Do you remember Credence?

That's only now that Freddie understood what he wanted to talk about. He just didn't understand. Why now and not before? 

-Of course. 

-Did... Did Ada told you? At the time? 

-Yes. 

-Why didn't you do anything?

Tommy was nervous, Freddie could tell it by the way he was staying close to the only horse present in the stables. They had always calmed him down. But his attitude was starting to make him nervous too. 

-Because it didn't matter. 

-Why? They practically all hated me. 

-I can't judge you on that. 

-Why? 

-Because my own eyes were never the last to observe the men. 

A silent took place after the confession. 

-Was it all you wanted to talk to me about? 

-No. That's not the only thing we talked about with Grave and she made me realise that I needed to talk to you. 

-What? 

-I... I have feelings for you. I realised it not a long time ago. 

He didn't answer. He couldn't say anything. Christ he was married to the guy's sister! 

-Say something. Anything. Hell, even slap me of you want!

-I'm married to Ada. 

-Bloody hell you think I don't know that?! You think I don't feel fucking disgusted with myself everytime I see the both of you together and I'm jealous of her?! You really think I don't fucking know you're married to my sister?! 

-Then tell me?! What do you want me to say?!

-I don't know! Anything but for fuck's sake say something!

-I can't!

-Why?! 

-Because then you'll feel even worse. 

-Nothing you'll say can make me feel worse.

-That's the problem. I know you. I know you will.

-Please. Tell me.

-The thing is I tried to forget. You see I'm deeply in love with Ada but I can't lie to myself anymore. Because even tough I'm supposed to hate you, you represent everything I'm fighting against, I can forget you. 

Once again, none of them answered this. They couldn't possibly know what to say. This, this was bad. They knew it. They just couldn't control it.

-So what now? finally asked Freddie. 

-What do you mean?

-What do we do? We just go back the our normal lives? I'll just go home and lay next to Ada, without thinking about it? I just look at her and tell her she's the only one I love? Or are you planning to tell her? So she'll leave me like you've always wanted.

-Yes. And I won't tell her.

-You shouldn't have told me.

-I'm sorry.

-I know you are. Me too.

-It couldn't have been possible anyway. Maybe in an another world.

-Yeah. In an an another world I'm sure. 

Freddie was going to leave now that they had both told the other one what needed to be said but Tommy gently grabbed his arm.

-Can I just... Once...

-Yes.

And then they were kissing. It was a kiss full of satisfaction and regrets, of hope and despair, of dreams and reality, of love and hate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the end. I had a few ideas for a new part so if anyone is interested, comment to let me know and I'll try to write a next story!  
> Love you and thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Voilà ! I hope you liked it and you'll read the next! Let me know if you got the reference for the names!


End file.
